How wild is it down there? My husband says that I would be free to take my top off and flash people and that nobody would know us. This sounds kind of tempting and hot for this boring wife from the midwest. I want to see if I have a wild side that will come out. Is the French Quarter a good place to play like this?
yay!!! You have to go! I am from New Orleans and used to bartend at a club called Razzoo’s on Bourbon Street. It was my favorite job I have ever had. The French Quarter consists of a few different areas….there is Jackson Square which has the famous Cathedral, in the square there are street musicians, people selling art, people who will read your palm, you can take horse and carriage rides around the area with a guide. Then there is Bourbon Street. It is a wild, anything goes party place. Like 50 clubs all down one strip. Your first stop should be Tropical Isle for a hand grenade. It’s a famous New Orleans drink, and it’s like straight liquor, but does not taste like it at all. It kind of tastes like a mix between lemonade and tea or something like that, it’s really good. After a hand grenade, you will be ready to party my dear! There are strip clubs on Bourbon too…Unisex has male and female strippers. You have to stop in Razzoo’s, they have a flaming fountain on the back patio that’s super cool and 5 bars. Hey, just so ya know, if there is a short, bald white guy rocking the mic that night on stage, he’s the MC and his name is Jesse. Buy him a shot of Jager, he’s an awesome guy. You have to let your husband get a "blo-jobon the back patio". Not as awful as it sounds, don’t freak out! It’s a jello shot that one of the beer girls blows into his mouth through a plastic tube, tops with whipped cream, and she may rub cleavage in his face, or turn him around and spank him or something. Do NOT buy the $3 shots from the shot girls at any of the clubs. They are watered down colored junk. The only ones they sell that are real are the Jager and Tequila shots. Buy your drinks from the bar. Now, Razzoo’s, Famous Door and Bourbon Street Blues Company are all the same company, and are somewhat similar. BBC’s has a balcony you can go out on and flash. When you are on the street, people on the balconies will yell at you to flash, if you do, they will throw you beads. Negotiate with them, tell them you want the biggest beads they got. Feel free to grab hot chicks butts, nobody will be mad. The only thing you can get arrested for is fighting, that’s it. There is a club called Utopia, it’s kind of neat. If you wander a little too far down Bourbon, there are gay clubs. Hear me out if you guys aren’t homophobic. There is one called OZ, and it’s a gay men’s bar. All the men that work there are supermodel hot, and work in their underwear. They play the best techno music. Nobody will mess with you. My husband and I used to love going to OZ for the music, I liked the gay men (he didn’t care, he was way drunk by the time we got down to that part). So that’s Bourbon. Party starts around 5pm…really gets going around 10-11 and ends around 3am every single night. You can party till the sun comes up in the right place.
Here’s some suggestions. Do Not bring your purse on Bourbon Street. Put money and a phone in your husbands pockets. (It can be a little dangerous, you have to be safe). If you guys don’t want to pay big bucks for a hotel IN the quarter, get one in Metairie or on the West Bank, in Gretna. Much cheaper, more quiet, won’t stink like the French Quarter and you can take a cab to the Quarter. If you do want to spend big bucks, stay at The W. There’s tons of other stuff to do while you are there. The restraunts in the Quarter are second to none, you will have the best seafood of your life. You can take the streetcar down St. Charles and Carrolton just for fun. The Riverwalk has a mall (I worked there when I was 16!) and an aquarium and an IMAX theater. You can take the ferry across the river and back just for fun too. You can spend a whole day window shopping in the French Quarter, on Royal, Decatur, St. Ann. There is a farmers market, tons of art galleries, jewelry stores, antique shops, everything. Harrah’s has a huge casino there. It’s pretty neat. The artwork inside it is amazing, if you look up at the ceilings and stuff, it’s beautiful. They spent tons of money on it. Always tip your cocktail waitress $1 for a free drink. Go to Cafe du Monde for biegnets (powdered french doughnuts-$1 a plate of 3). Let’s see, there’s a cool Virgin Records music store, the Hard Rock cafe, and what’s that movie about the girl that could sing and dance….? Coyote Ugly. They have a Coyote Ugly Saloon there. Actually, I think it is The Coyote Ugly Saloon. All their girls do the dances and stuff on the bar just like the movie, it’s across the street from the Hard Rock cafe I think.
Oh, it’s a blast. I miss New Orleans. You ABSOLUTELY should go. You can have the time of your life there.